Tuesday, November 20

When Giving Is All We Have


When Giving Is All We Have
by Alberto Rios

One river gives
Its journey to the next.

We give because someone gave to us.
We give because nobody gave to us.

We give because giving has changed us.
We give because giving could have changed us.

We have been better for it,
We have been wounded by it—

Giving has many faces: It is loud and quiet,
Big, though small, diamond in wood-nails.

Its story is old, the plot worn and the pages too,
But we read this book, anyway, over and again:

Giving is, first and every time, hand to hand,
Mine to yours, yours to mine.

You gave me blue and I gave you yellow.
Together we are simple green. You gave me

What you did not have, and I gave you
What I had to give—together, we made

Something greater from the difference.

Thursday, November 15

Now Is the Time


Now Is the Time
by Hafiz

Now is the time to know
That all you do is sacred.

Now, why not consider
A lasting truce with yourself and God.

Now is the time to understand
That all your ideas of right and wrong
Were just a child's training wheels
To be laid aside
When you can finally live
With veracity
And love.

Hafiz is a divine envoy
Whom the Beloved
Has written a holy message upon.

My dear, please tell me,
Why do you still
Throw sticks at your heart
And God?

What is it in that sweet voice inside
That incites you to fear?

Now is the time for the world to know
That every thought and action is sacred.

This is the time 
For you to deeply compute the impossibility
That there is anything
But Grace.

Now is the season to know
That everything you do
Is sacred.

Thursday, November 1

Aging

Aging
by Rosmarie Waldrop

Aging. Being in pain. Finishing. Rotting.
             —Emmanuel Fournier

We feel we’ve contracted into very dim, very old white dwarf stars, not yet black holes. Wrinkled, but not quite withered. Dropped out of summer like a stone, we watch time fall. With the leaves. Into a deeper color. Wavelengths missing in the reflected light.

The road toward rotting has been so long. We forget where we are going. Like a child, I look amazed at a thistle. Or drink cheap wine and hug my knees. To shorten the shadow? To ward off letting go?

So much body now, to be cared for. What with the arrow, lost cartilage, skeleton within. Memory no longer holds up. A bridge to theory and dreams. Impervious to vertigo. Days are long and too spacious.

Though the sun is a mere eight light-minutes away elderly dust hangs. Over the long sentences I wrote in the last century. Now thoughts in purpose tremor, in lament, in search of. Not being too soon? Going to be? Unconformities separating strata of decay?

You say aimlessness has its virtues. Just as not fully understanding may be required for harmony. And blow your nose. You sing fast falls the eventide, damp on the skin, with bitter wind. And here it is again, the craving for happiness that night induces. Or the day of marriage.

The difference of our bodies makes for different velocities. But gravity is always attracting, and my higher speed. Cannot outrun the inner fright we seem made of. Though I gesticulate broadly. As in a silent movie. Running after the train, waving goodbye.

Distant galaxies are moving away from us. Friends, lovers, family. Even the sky shifts toward red. Where every clearness is only. A more welcoming slope of the night. And I don’t remember why I opened the door.

Mouth full of moans, you believe the natural state. Is a body at rest. And close your eyes to the threat of your face disappearing. Without thought or emotion. Into its condition. And I thought I knew you.

Are the complications thinning to a final simplicity? The nearest thing to a straight path in curved space? Clouds of gas slowly collapsing? With only one possible outcome? But unlike a black hole I keep my hair on. As I move toward the unquestionable dark.

This dark, Mrs. Ramsay thinks, is perhaps the core of every self. The deep note of existence the ear finds, but cannot hold on to. Across the vicissities of the symphony. Or else this dark could be our shelter in the time of long dominion. And though we are not well suited to the perspectives it opens it is an awesome thing to see. Once you can see it.

Friday, October 26

Heavy Summer Rain


Heavy Summer Rain
by Jane Kenyon

The grasses in the field have toppled,
and in places it seems that a large, now
absent, animal must have passed the night.
The hay will right itself if the day

turns dry. I miss you steadily, painfully.
None of your blustering entrances
or exits, doors swinging wildly
on their hinges, or your huge unconscious
sighs when you read something sad,
like Henry Adams’s letters from Japan,
where he traveled after Clover died.

Everything blooming bows down in the rain:
white irises, red peonies; and the poppies
with their black and secret centers
lie shattered on the lawn.

I Keep Looking


I Keep Looking

I keep looking
for the letter
that tells me
you love me.

It doesn't exist yet.

10.26.18
cls

Tuesday, October 9

The World Seems


"To give a blessing is to affirm, to say 'yes' to a person's Belovedness. A blessing touches the original goodness of the other and calls forth his or her Belovedness." --Henri Nouwen

The World Seems
by Gregory Orr

The world seems so palpable
And dense: people and things
And the landscapes
They inhabit or move through.

Words, on the other hand,
Are so abstract--they're
Made of empty air
Or black scratches on a page
That urge us to utter
Certain sounds.
                      And us:
Poised in the middle, aware
Of the objects out there
Waiting patiently to be named,
As if the right words
Could save them.
                      And don't
They deserve it?
So much hidden inside each one,
Such a longing
To become the beloved.

And inside us: the sounds
That could extend that blessing--
How they crowd our mouths,
How they press up against
Our lips, which are such
A narrow exit for a joy so desperate.

Sunday, October 7

Farm Wife


Farm Wife
by R.S. Thomas

Hers is the clean apron, good for fire
Or lamp to embroider, as we talk slowly
In the long kitchen, while the white dough
Turns to pastry in the great oven,
Sweetly and surely as hay making
In a June meadow, hers are the hands,
Humble with milking, but still now
In her wide lap as though they heard
A quiet music, hers being the voice
That coaxes time back to the shadows
In the room's corners, O, hers is all
This strong body, the safe island
Where men may come, sons and lovers,
Daring the cold seas of her eyes.


Friday, September 28

Are You Going to Stay?


Are You Going to Stay?
by Thomas Meyer

What was it I was going to say?
Slipped away probably because
it needn’t be said. At that edge

almost not knowing but second
guessing the gain, loss, or effect
of an otherwise hesitant remark.

Slant of light on a brass box. The way
a passing thought knots the heart.
There’s nothing, nothing to say.

What Came After


I found this buried in my Facebook Notes. The poem itself I wrote for a friend. The first part I have no idea why I wrote, but I'll keep it, since it's an original artifact. It's what I'm thinking most of the time.

What Came After

No one wants to read your melodramatic poetry with the awkward diction and nature metaphors. Also it's not very good; you've really been sucking at this lately. It's too personal to post. Everyone says "be honest," but no one actually thinks you should do that. It's like saying "we should hang out sometime." Oversharing is weird and only works in the movies. Don't do it don't do it don't do it.

You have to leave,
and I have to stand here and watch your heart break open.
I had to leave once,
so I too have leaned over that chasm.
And you're going to fall in, you know.
Somewhere between saying goodbye to your mother
and resigning yourself to never having spoken what was truly inside you,
your heart's going to turn into an open wound,
and I have to stand here and let you take it.

So in my heart I give you the sunrise in Alaska,
the sunset around the pier,
that May morning overflowing with resurrection.
I give you all of my What Came After,
all of the solace that healed me.
I will to you all of the undeserved beauty 
that taught me in the end
that it was worth it.

cls

Wednesday, September 26

When love beckons to you...


When love beckons to you...
by Khalil Gibran, from The Prophet

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height
and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots
and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire,
that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart,
and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness
and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh,
but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.

Saturday, September 8

To a Friend


To a Friend
by unknown, public domain

I ask but one thing of you, only one,
that always you will be my dream of you;
that never shall I wake to find untrue
all this I have believed and rested on,
forever vanished, like a vision gone
out into the night. Alas, how few
there are who strike in us a chord we knew
existed, but so seldom heard its tone
we tremble at the half-forgotten sound.
The world is full of rude awakenings
and heaven-born castles shattered to the ground,
yet still our human longing vainly clings
to a belief in beauty through all wrongs.
O stay your hand, and leave my heart its songs!

Thursday, September 6

Sonku [what i want] & Haiku [for you]


Sonku [what i want]
by Sonia Sanchez

what i want
from you can
you give? what
i give to
you do you
want? hey? hey?

Haiku [for you]
by Sonia Sanchez

love between us is
speech and breath. loving you is
a long river running.

Wednesday, August 15


I was introduced to the Enneagram several years ago and have been reading more deeply on it recently. A favorite musical artist, Sleeping at Last, has also been interacting profoundly with the Enneagram and is currently writing songs to correspond with each of the nine types which comprise it. His most recent release was the song for the Six type. I am not a Six, but it is one of my wings, and I know several Sixes. Though I had recognized some of their major attributes, I was uncertain of their motivations for a long time. My reading, as well as this song, is helping me pull back the layers, and I have developed a well of compassion for my friends who are Sixes.

If I could distill the following lyrics into my own message for my friends who identify with this type, it would be: Please don't be so worried about making things safe for me. You are my safety.

Six
by Sleeping at Last

i had the most vivid dream...
my feet had left the ground, 
i was floating to heaven
but i could only look down.
my mind was heavy,
running ragged with worst case scenarios,
emergency exits and the distance below.
i woke up so worried that the angels let go.

oh God i’m so tired
of being afraid.

what would it feel like
to put this baggage down?
if i’m being honest,
i’m not sure i’d know how.
i want to take shelter but i’m ready, ready to fight
and somewhere in the middle i feel a little paralyzed-
but maybe i’m stronger than i realize

i want to believe
no, i choose to believe
that i was made to become 
a sanctuary.
fear won’t go away
but i can keep it at bay
and these invisible walls
just might keep us safe.
with vigilant heart,
i’ll push into the dark
but i’ll learn to breathe deep
and make peace with the stars.
is that courage or faith
to show up everyday?
to trust that there will be light
always waiting behind
even the darkest of nights

and no matter what,
somehow we’ll be okay.
don’t be afraid.

Tuesday, August 7

Her Grave, Again, pt. 7, (Matins)













Her Grave, Again, pt. 7, (Matins)
by Mary Oliver

Now we are awake
and now we are come together
and now we are thanking the Lord.

This is easy,
for the Lord is everywhere.

He is in the water and the air,
He is in the very walls.

He is around us and in us.
He is the floor on which we kneel.

We make our songs for him
as sweet as we can

for his goodness,
and, lo, he steps into the song

and out of it, having blessed it,
having recognized our intention,

having awakened us, who thought we were awake,
a second time,
having married us to the air and the water,

having lifted us in intensity,
having lowered us in beautiful amiability,

having given us
each other,
and the weeds, dogs, cities, boats, dreams
that are the world.

Monday, June 25

The Season of Phantasmal Peace


















The Season of Phantasmal Peace
by Derek Walcott

Then all the nations of birds lifted together
the huge net of the shadows of this earth
in multitudinous dialects, twittering tongues,
stitching and crossing it. They lifted up
the shadows of long pines down trackless slopes,
the shadows of glass-faced towers down evening streets,
the shadow of a frail plant on a city sill—
the net rising soundless as night, the birds' cries soundless, until
there was no longer dusk, or season, decline, or weather,
only this passage of phantasmal light
that not the narrowest shadow dared to sever.

And men could not see, looking up, what the wild geese drew,
what the ospreys trailed behind them in silvery ropes
that flashed in the icy sunlight; they could not hear
battalions of starlings waging peaceful cries,
bearing the net higher, covering this world
like the vines of an orchard, or a mother drawing
the trembling gauze over the trembling eyes
of a child fluttering to sleep;
                                                     it was the light
that you will see at evening on the side of a hill
in yellow October, and no one hearing knew
what change had brought into the raven's cawing,
the killdeer's screech, the ember-circling chough
such an immense, soundless, and high concern
for the fields and cities where the birds belong,
except it was their seasonal passing, Love,
made seasonless, or, from the high privilege of their birth,
something brighter than pity for the wingless ones
below them who shared dark holes in windows and in houses,
and higher they lifted the net with soundless voices
above all change, betrayals of falling suns,
and this season lasted one moment, like the pause
between dusk and darkness, between fury and peace,
but, for such as our earth is now, it lasted long.

Thursday, June 21

Happiness



















Happiness
by Raymond Carver

So early it's still almost dark out.
I'm near the window with coffee,
and the usual early morning stuff
that passes for thought.
When I see the boy and his friend
walking up the road
to deliver the newspaper.
They have on caps and sweaters,
and the one boy has a bag over his shoulder.
They are so happy
they aren't saying anything, these boys.
I think if they could, they would take
each other's arm.
It's early in the morning,
and they are doing this thing together.
They come on, slowly.
The sky is taking on light,
though the moon still hangs palely over the water.
Such beauty that for a minute
death and ambition, even love
doesn't enter into this.
Happiness. It comes on
unexpectedly. And goes beyond, really,
any early morning talk about it.